gallif_migrant (gallif_migrant) wrote in who_contest,

State Of Grace

Title: State Of Grace
Author: Gallifrey_Immigrant
Fandom: Doctor Who
Pairing/characters: Graham, Thirteen, quick cameos of Yaz and Ryan, mentions of Grace
Genre: Angst/Drama
Rating: K+
Word count: 498 words.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summary: Graham wasn’t even meaning to think about Grace. Fortunately, the Doctor understands.
Author's note: My first fic for Thirteenth Doctor since Series 11 started.

Graham wasn’t quite sure what made him think about her. Maybe it was the Doctor talking about her ship’s “state of grace”. Just the name was enough to freeze him up, and make tears well up in his eyes. He tried to wipe his face.

“Oh, and it’s been so long since I had so many rooms in the TARDIS. Lost them all back in my 8th...Graham, you okay?” asked the Doctor suddenly, her grin changing to confusion. She focused on him, and he turned away. He didn’t want her to see him like this.

“I’m fine. Just thinking about...” he trailed off.

“Am I going too fast? I get excited, is all. What part did you miss?” she asked. Then he saw in her eyes that she understood.

“I’m sorry,” said the Doctor, moving to see his face. “I’ve felt loss before. It hurts.”

“Don’t worry about it. Isn’t your fault.” said Graham.

(A dark part of him thought “but Grace might not have died without getting involved with alien stuff.”)

Her eyes seemed to peer into him, and he stared back. It sometimes annoyed him how unreadable she was. Especially since a crazy part of him thought she was almost reading his mind.

“You can blame me, if you want. I didn’t mean her to get hurt, but it happens,” said the Doctor.

“Nothing ever just ‘happened’ to Grace. She chose her own path. Don’t know why she chose me,” said Graham.

The Doctor said “Oh, I can think of a few reasons.”

“That’s because you’re barmy,” said Graham.

“True. But it’s my ship, so you’re stuck with me,” she responded, flashing a grin.

“We’re prisoners now!” said Yaz in mock-fear, coming into the console room.

“Blame the TARDIS, not me. She picks the passengers—I just follow her lead,” said the Doctor. Graham wasn’t sure how serious she was being. He knew better than to ask.

“Doctor, where’s my room gone?”asked Ryan, having walked in soon after Yaz. “It just disappeared!”

“Again, ask the TARDIS.”

“I woke up floating in the void of space! And my phone was in my room--!”

“Anyway, ready for another trip!” the Doctor cut him off quickly.

Graham smirked , knowing the Doctor had taken Ryan’s phone earlier for another experiment. He decided not to spoil the fun. As the team talked, his thoughts returned to...her.

He didn’t blame the Doctor. But he did blame himself--

The Doctor somehow was right behind him, and whispered in his ear “Don’t blame yourself. And because it’s what I would do.”

Before Graham could even respond, the Doctor was back to talking with the TARDIS crew, playing around with the console controls, like she had said nothing. Only Yaz seemed to notice that the Doctor had whispered something, though she didn’t say anything.

How had she known what he was thinking-- because it’s what I would do.

You are rather craftier than you seem, Doc” Graham thought to himself. Still, he grinned.

Tags: #64

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